We are what we believe ourselves to be.
“You don’t speak much often, do you?“, when I was asked this question, I immediately replied that I don’t. I don’t know why I was being so honest. It’s not like they would be appreciating this revelation of mine and go something like, “Oh good, I was just waiting for someone who doesn’t talk much and just listens. Where have you been all my life?”. No, no one ever thinks that. And to be fair, no one wants to have a conversation with the wall and so, they actually don’t. No wonder
I have very few friends am that wall.
To be more honest, I have been asked this question twice, plus a million other times. I emphasized on the twice part because the people who said it were complete strangers. I was at a bloggers meet and one famous person saw my name on the wall and wanted to meet and we met and talked, I mean she talked and immediately realized what a good wall it was in front of her. The talk ended completely when she asked the question I was referring to earlier and without a moment’s notice, or even thinking about it for a bit, I replied with a nod and softly said yes, which wasn’t audible either. Oh yes, my voice is inaudible too. Bonus points, right? Yay. But then again, I met the high school crush, I mean the whole high school was crushing on this girl. I met and I was trying my best to talk more often and interesting topics, but it was just radio silence, the radio in reference was turned off apparently. So, she asked the very same question, and there is nothing stupider than nodding a yes again. I mean why! Why do I do that? Can’t I just lie and say make something up?
The other day, I was sitting with a good friend of mine, in the canteen, sipping coffee. And the coffee got over, the usual conversation were down to a silence again and the topics were over. I looked around everywhere and anywhere, but there still was the awkward silence in the air I was so hoping to avoid. I did think of new topics, of something to keep the conversation going, all stupid ones, but then again I was so good at picking up topics that the replies are usually an yes or a no. *Pats myself in the back*.
This might sound so bizarre for people reading all of this. Because there are a lot of things one can talk about, meaningful or otherwise, there are a billion topics to pick from and yet, I chose the embrace of the silence.
… and I choose to keep quiet,
for reason one too many,
or perhaps none at all.
The Silence in the Voice.
ak, XIX X MMXVI
P.S. “The Silence in the voice” is a pretty name for a blog. I am owning in, henceforth.