In the air.

I see the happy faces, the ones that glow from inside, the joy radiating in their eyes. Perhaps, the rest of the world seems so oblivious to them. How does it that they forget what’s happening around them? How come they traverse to another planet where there are just two people? Why do the voices fade away when they see the one? How their heart starts beating faster when they see them and that again they calm it down? Because the last time, I forgot what was happening around me was when I was sort of drowning. The last time I traversed to another planet was when I had a horrible dream, I should have done drugs, haven’t I? Or atleast I should have gone to Katmandu just like Dr. Stephen Strange did, where the Ancient one could show me the Astral Plane and the infinite possibilities. The last time the voices faded away, I fell from the one storey slide. So, it fascinates me when people do that at the comfort of their seat staring into the eyes of the people they like, erm.. love.

But if it was all there was to love, I wouldn’t have even pursued (my research) it further. Because I had already experienced it the swimming pool or the last night when I had that dream or when I had that fall years ago. They say there is more to it, like how much they care for each other, how much they can’t live without each other, how much the mutual admiration is, how they complete each other, how each one are the cups half full and they fulfill each other.

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I have thought a couple too many times what this is? What makes them do what they do? I have never been able to comprehend. This crazy little thing called Love. From cutting themselves to writing a letter in blood (nothing says “I love you” like the smell of the dried off blood) to bringing the moon, what not the people promise! Though the moon thing is impossible, literally. But it seems to have worked its charm in convincing people that it somehow means loving them way too much.

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You can say it works in mysterious ways. I wish I could explain it. But well, if you saw or even met me, you would be so sure that I could never tell. And after having lived a better quarter of a century, I can tell with complete assurance that there is no way in hell, I am ever falling in one or would see anyone falling. I will raise you if thought you could take that bet. So, since I have cleared this very confusing part of ..what? You want to know the reason? Why do I think so? Why I don’t have faith in me? Or in the concept of love? You lovesickstruck person, I understand that you are absolutely cherishing the aurora you are in, the ambiance filled with love and all that package that comes along with it. Or looking forward to the day when it really happens. So, it would be advisable if you stay in that snow globe of yours where its all sunshine and snow. And you can make little snowmen and sing Frozen songs. So, where was I? Yeah, since I cleared this very confusing part of why I am absolutely certain that … What? You don’t want to stay in a snowglobe until I answer? If you insist, I will have answered it by the end of the post, i.e. if you survive.

Since, I was completely oblivious to this, I kind of asked around. All have their own definitions of love. I know this one guy and he claims to be not in one, but there are signs which say otherwise. I don’t know why he is denying it. Perhaps, it is also a sort of love –Denying wala love. I have heard people say that they have been in love and it didn’t work out, because they were completely different people to when they started dating. Ofcourse! People change. That’s just human. We should be worried if people didn’t change. It will be so monotonous doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over (it’s annoying, isn’t it?), don’t you think? I have heard someone else say they their love-interest is quite possessive about them. Well, if you had them as your girlfriend, you would be possessive too. While some couldn’t handle the possessiveness, some embraced it. While a few turned out to be douchebags (literally), they still didn’t get over them, because they were apparently their first love. I have known people getting married and not to the one they love. And for some the love mattered but the celestial bodies didn’t approve of their unison, and hence they couldn’t be together. I have known people who are married and still not over their love before they arranged marriage. People have different definitions of love. No kidding, right? And I didn’t get any of that at all. Not one bit. But well, who am I to judge? I am no Loveinstein.

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Perhaps, the idea of love irks me a little. The cheesiness is something I could never handle, if I were to be frank. Perhaps, it is one reason for not watching romantic movies or TV Shows, because I know it is not my kind of thing. So, I stick to my mystery, crime, superhero genre and the likes of it. But then again, romance is something that is common and even these non-romantic genre shows and movies somehow promote love and romance in their own way. The portrayal of love is all great and nice and sweet and beautiful, but for me only a few stood out. Perhaps, the onscreen love is made to look realistic. It is structured and scripted to fit the norms of romance as it aligns itself to the people’s knowledge and experience with love and show it in the best way possible. But sometimes, it is not real. It is just good acting- the love, the concern for their loved ones, the things people do for their loved ones. This was another reason why I was too skeptical to watch romantic movies. But occasionally, I did watch to really understand how it works, what’s the element that really brings out the feelings while sometimes it was just research for a story, or so I say. Anyhow, in the recent times, and as far as my memory serves, one TV Show captured it perfectly – the emotions, the process, in my opinion. And it is a superhero genre. I know what you are thinking – How can a super hero movie capture romance much better than the romance genre TV shows and movies. Like I said, in the recent times, this come to my mind. If I can, I will share the clip of it. Anyhow, it is from the TV Show – Supergirl, where the Kara Danver‘s (Superman’s cousin, if you are wondering who she is. And if you are wondering who Superman is, he is an alien from the planet Krypton who looks human and has super powers and goes by the name Superman or Clark Kent when in disguise) sister – Alex Danvers falls in love with another girl. The process in which she finds out, her first kiss, her first rejection, her first embarrassment, her first getting together feeling, all of it feels too real. Please, watch it and let me know if I am wrong. May be it was just acting, but it was really really acting, because quite frankly I don’t know the feelings that people go through, but she expressed it quite well. I know this won’t make sense unless you watch it. But, in retrospect, please do suggest one of your greatest love story every portrayed on the big screen. And yeah, except Notebook, P.S. I love you.

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P.S. I will be taking this forward and write on the age old question, okay to be frank no one is interested and more the reason to bother people with my lame stories, about all this fuss about love and what’s my deal with it and more importantly “Why not?” !