Only a handful of them real. Now, none.
2.15Lakh Page Views.
I hit the reset button to all that. Why – the most common question that plagues the people’s mind. I have seen people celebrating their 50th post. That seems like eternity away, but I did feel good when I hit the 100th post mark. But what is this? After all this time? What went wrong? Or Righ…, no it’s definitely wrong.
There are a couple of reason why I did what I did. I have always loved writing. Because it was my way out. It was my way of expressing myself. But after a long time, I lost my way. I was writing my life away, the things I love (minus the people I didn’t mention), the things I hate (almost got beaten up, almost. It was a close escape). But all this while, after all this while I wanted to bring a change to the writing. And meanwhile some switch went off in my mind. That was when I couldn’t write anymore. I was writing, writing but not what I wanted to write. I had to keep people in mind before writing, the target audience. That, this wasn’t writing. Writing needed to be free. But I was feeling caged.
It was then my ego kicked in. Narcissism kicked in. The (alleged many) years of writing and still nothing in accomplishments, that feeling hit me hard too. It was the tip of the iceberg. Nah, it was never about the accomplishments or any of that. What troubled me was even after the effort I did in writing something, it never got the attention it needed. I too agree that I am not that great of a writer. But deep down I felt that, I was a little okay when it came to writing. But after a lot of contemplation and realization hitting me in my face, I came to the conclusion that I was no good of a writer and the numbers were lying. What numbers? The page views and the followers count. It was feeling a lot like fake. That I was lying. And my blog was lying and the uncharted page views that I was amassing for no apparent reason is just too much. And all this while I wanted to take a look at my writing as well. I decided to make writing great again. The quest began with an idea. But the goal I kept for myself was way too high. It is a good thing. But apparently, I was a cripple trying for the high jump. I couldn’t even stand, let alone run and take the plunge. I fell down. And then, I snapped. I wanted a makeover. Like a fresh start. But then again, I wanted all the posts. Yeah, I know, such a show off. 600 posts. But, whatever. This is new. And with zero followers now I will be able to start everything all over again.
I just hope I didn’t make a mistake of investing in something unsubstantial. Well, anyway here’s to new beginnings.
PS : I am still looking for a new blog name. Any suggestions?