- Ajay Kontham ™
- Bangalore, Karnataka, India
- | Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Dreamer | Thinker | Foodie | Music-Lover | Art | God-Fearing | Movies | Riding | Mid-Night Adventures | Swimming | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Rational | Stubborn | Fashion | Silent | Sensitive | Calm | Helpful | Psycho | Mad | Crazy |Stupid | Creative | Mentally Stable Psychopath |
Monday, December 22, 2014
I have been a serious writer, that's what we people who write once in a while call ourselves. And this once in a while is the result of a serious work of procrastination and not to mention the avoidance of all the "other" distractions like beautiful people ..umm.. I mean TV and games. Yes, I agree that there is a hot lady at the other end of this coffee shop, but lets not get, should I say Distracted? So where was I? Yeah, I am a serious writer!
A serious writer by definition is not a person who has to publish a minimum of two books or at least one in a year and should be able to sell a million copies, respectively. No. That would make you a serious author, a novelist, a prolific novelist. A serious writer is a person who write seriously but never meets the appeal of the so intended people or as they feel proud to call them, their followers.
Yes, I have raised a few eyebrows back in the day when I was great at day-dreaming. And yes, I have left hit a nerve or two a couple of times, when my "followers" had to trouble themselves to close the window or when they had to bring their palm to their forehead and slap it as a response to my brilliance. And yes again, I have started a revolution when the people started running, away. But I have been a successful. In a being that lonely guy trying to improvise the world with radical thinking while sipping a second mug of coffee between two words. Caffeine! Well, aren't we all addicts? I am addicted to writing *ahem* I mean coffee.
But nevertheless, I consider myself to be a serious writer. Yes, I just love this line, may be because its' filled with uber sarcasm of all levels.
What do you write about?
Almost everything under the sun. Prose. Poetry. Everything that happens all around. Society. Even photography. Now you see, when I am showcasing these many talents, the least I expect is "Wow, you are awesome dude!". But you know by the looks on the face of the listener that he/she is not interested in your "boastings" whatsoever. No one really cares what I write. Practically and literally.
Why don't you write something else or something that keeps the people interested? (Now, I really don't know what this means!)
And what do you think I have been trying to do all this time being such a serious writer?
But, I heard that people earn through blogs!
Yes, you are right. But I considered myself to be free, rekindled spirit not obsessed with worldly pleasures such as money. "Give me that effing money!" my minds shouts in
silence of its confinement. And yet it seems more of an implausible dream.
Though when I am at the side of imparting the namesake existence of my blog, I feel that tinge of what a great writer I am. And while they advice me on what to do and what not to do, it sounds as if they are telling an expert what to do. But then again at the end of the day I am no expert and we all know that.
But truth be told, it is quite difficult. As a budding writer ( Yeah, I laughed too! Budding writer? Oh Please! ), it is just not easy to attract / influence the people with a few ( C/o Oxford dictionary) rambled words arranged systematically to make sense. I wanted to learn that art. No not that thing in the parenthesis but the art of influencing through the written word. It is not easy, no. But it is not difficult as well. One needs to know that certain trick. I mean one needs to be an expert at writing, fluent in expressing and be bold enough to speak up(read : write) their mind. No, I am not even close to any of that. 500+ posts! 5 years! And still I haven't learned anything. If at all, my grades have kept dipping in my progress report(if we were to consider, but I advice you not to) over the couple of years.
This never ending ordeal of belittling myself(speaking truth about myself) while dreaming to be sitting in a bookstore signing some authored copies never ceases to exist. A distant dream perhaps, or may be not. I was totally kidding. It is far beyond my dreaming. Speaking of which what have you been up to lately? And how near are you to your dreams.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
I stared at the screen for a moment. I dozed off for a moment. Oh, wait what? I almost skimmed through the message without considering its depth but then I paused. The following message helped me to snap out of my rambled obscurity. It was one of those moment when you question the question - What the what? The mind flies into that mystic Neverland only to find oneself in one of those dilemmas.
"You are a good friend"!
*Pats myself*. "Truer words have never been spoken". I say that to myself feeling a little accomplished. But this one sentence got me into thinking. I have never heard it before. Yeah, I have heard that You are friend a lot many times but not every person mean it, do they? So far I have heard this from two of my friends. One was from a colleague and when he says you know that he means. It does give that tiny feeling of satisfaction or something-like-that when someone says such sweet heart felt words and mean it. While the other person hasn't even met me nor have I. Not even once. But when this friend of mine trusts to confide in me, it really feels good. Need I lecture about the trusting people, because we all know that it is something to be earned. And when someone like my friend responds with such kindness of words, you know that you earned their trust. When you are a victim of such kindness or pampering, one is compelled to keep up the attire and walk in the same footsteps for the time yet to come.
I am no exceptional. I love to be the victim of that pampering. But I have never been much of a talker. I have found confinement in the silence than in expressing. Why, you ask? I wish I had an answer. But it just takes a few umm, months to get me to open up, give or take a few days. That's a LOT of time! Yeah, I know. I wish I was a little different and quick at falling in line. But not quite so. And this is just too slow that I lose my queue. AK? Who's that? Yeah, I wasn't the front-runner nor was I the back-runner. I was still in the dressing room. Can you believe this guy whatever his name is? Time changes people, I guess some people don't fall into that category.
I stood there while my mind dozed in a dazed expression of dilemma instigating what might have just happened. However genuine the gesture was, I feel that pinch inside every time I face it. Something went wrong a while back. There was this almost perfectly stable circle of human friendship which got haywire with one incident and it just tore that circle into pieces revealing the true colors. No one knew that there were colors hidden beneath that plain transparent surface and that certain incident showed colors like a litmus paper.There was every possibility of ignoring all those colors and accepting them well because the bond of friendship was much more precious than a few faded colors. But those colors dug deep into their skin and as time passed they severed all ties. I was the neutral element and even tried waving the white flag as the ambassador of peace talks. Its' not up to the ambassador anymore. The train has left the station.
"Thank you for coming". As a reflex to the common thank you, the words "You're wel... " almost reach the peripheral of my lips when I freeze. Everything around just moves in slow motion while my mind starts its inquisition about what just happened. While the mind process all this, the person is back on their way to work while I stand there mid way at the opened door. Though my silent response never ceases to change no matter how many times I am faced with this same sweet plausible gesture. Alternatively I try to say "Hey, you don't have to thank me. This is what friends do" but it just fades away under my breath.
"Am I a good friend?" Let me rephrase that....
Can I be your good friend?
Sunday, December 14, 2014
It was midnight, ten minutes past twelve. The cold wind sneaked into the warmth of my room rendering it a cold compelling me to slide under the sheets. I was writing, as usual burning the midnight oil. I was sitting there covered in blankets to keep me warm, snuck my hands out to write. Just as then, the Internet goes down. Flash back 10 minutes minus one: The WiFi in the room is dead slow as someone had used up all the data for the month. What the hell is he even downloading? Its' not even 10 days and the Internet is at snail's space. Wait, the snail will be faster than my Internet speed. Just as then, the download speed boosts up to 2 MBPS. Holy umm wow, I put 3 movies in download in a split second and open my Blogger draft to complete what I had started a week ago after being inspired by a fellow blogger's post. Ten minutes plus one later : Just as then, the internet goes down and I immediately feel that void. That emptiness. I lost the flow of words and my mind went blank. Ok, I am exaggerating, but the situation was almost similar. The following day someone breaks the news that some may I quote 'Idiot' has cuts all the cables running from above their apartment. Now, who is that stupid? Three days down,still no internet and no tv. And there again, I really felt that void. And it was the very reason why I couldn't read anyone's blog or complete any of my drafts.
Washing clothes has never been fun even when there was a machine to do all the work. Why? Because there is a greater evil called laziness and a much greater devil called procrastination. Yeah, I am full of both of it. So the last week, I fought my demons and finally made my way to the mighty (read : dumbass because it doesn't work when I need it to - as if it is programmed : if Ajay : Take a vacation) machine, I mean dragged myself and stuffed it with all my clothes and fast forward one hour, it was done. Phew! Later that evening, I collected all my clothes threw them on my bed and slept on my bed that night by pushing them to the corner. But the next day I had to make my clothes. Then when I was almost done, I was pairing my socks. Sock 1, no match found. Sock 2, no match found. Sock 3. Sock 4. Sock 5. Sock 6. Sock 7. Sock 8. Sock 9. Sock 10, Yay! Finally, the first match. I checked it all over again, if I made a mistake while pairing. Nope. I didn't. I have 9 single socks without a matching sock. What the hell, right!? What was I thinking when I was buying these many socks in the first place? But even more alarming question is where are my remaining socks? Now, I wear different colored socks these days, till the day I find its actual matching pair. Well, I could buy another new pair of socks. But then again, HOW MANY SOCKS WILL I BUY?
I have this drug almost on a daily basis. But its not everyday that I get the much needed kick. Wait, before you get into any conclusions or assumptions, I am talking about caffeine, as in coffee. Yeah, you could burst your thought bubbles now. So the other day, I had my Caffeine infused drink and I was hyper, may be coffee with extra sugar was to blame. I had a sudden burst of thoughts, pretty good ones though. Instead of creating notes of it (on my blogging notebook, yes sir I have one) with the important points so that I could build the rest of the content, I decided to go back to my room and start writing those incredible thoughts on my laptop and immediately post it. Mind you, I was feeling that certain kick. I was walking, but the routine was monotonous so I decided to change the way I walk. I started walking backwards. Well, I double checked the road and it was empty. So, I was there walking from one street light to another backwards. I also added certain catwalks and not to mention the moonwalks. And then I stumbled on a stone and I had to turn around only to find three guys staring at me. I think one of them was holding a mobile taking a video. Did you get any video? No? May be he was from my apartment. Remember? Someone cut the cables! Hope the video gets deleted somehow! Anyway, I didn't look up and brisk walked back to my room. Oh, that kick wore out, alright. And so did that burst of incredible thoughts.
One of my colleague has a knack for speaking his mind, which is a good thing, but he doesn't think before saying something. It all comes back to him a good hour later and pesters the person next to him asking him whether it was the right thing he said. A few weeks back he was again telling one his many theories of what he might do, he realized that he totally forgot to mention one story of his friend. Now, his close friend from his town with whom he usually hangs around whenever he visits his home town is was kind of AWOL. The reason for his friends' MIA condition was that he eloped with a girl. Now he was in his early twenties almost his age, while she is a minor ( sixteen years old). The rumor has that they both were in love and they eloped. Now as my colleague is a good friend of the guy in limelight, everybody was calling him if he had any idea whether the guy might be. The guys' father was even begging him to tell if he had contacted my colleague. But he didn't and my colleague had no idea about him even doing this until he started receiving calls. Since she is a minor, it would come under the kidnapping case. That's not the whole story. A week or so earlier all this happened, the guy called my colleague and confessed that he was in love while he asked for any kind of advice. Now, my colleague was in his usual self of being speaking his mind advised him to elope with her and that he would be busy in his own marriage the coming month, so he could crash at his house. Fortunately, the guy didn't turn up my colleague's house. Though he admits that he just said what the guy wanted to hear, he was not the part of that eloping part. Well, someone did give that idea and who might that be ?
I never realized that there could be certain problem when the hair is long. Like how it just flies randomly menacing the perfectly 2 hour carefully tailored hair style (which still looks bleh!). Or like when in an attempt to get the 'crazily flying hair' back into place, all my hair comes off like that loosely kept wig. Or like how the perfectly straight hair gets that Clark Kent (aka Superman) twist but making crop circles all over the head. Or like when I am drinking a well frothed coffee, I have to worry about the hair going into the coffee while sipping rather than making a clown nose. Or like when a friend tells me check my 9 o clock and I can't because my weird crop circled hair is covering my eyes. Isn't there any permanent solution to this? Yeah, there is. GO BALD. No. No. No. No. Nonononononono. I am not doing that, ever. Oh, you will not have a choice. With the pace at which your hair is dropping, you shouldn't be surprised if one day you woke and shout at the top of your voice while looking at the mirror.
P.S. The title of the post makes no sense. I too know.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
The night was young as the moon adorned the silver armor and shone in its adorning beauty. The luminous light so vivid that the night appeared day. Just as then a dark cloud ran the race from the outskirts of the capitol to eliminate all light, that dangerous evil darkness no one was aware of. Silence swept across the streets of conjusted homes, statues, palaces, whatnot. The silence was deafening. In the center of the palace was a child in a cradle sleeping peacefully without anything to worry about. The silent atmosphere echoed his small breath of life. *Breathe in* *Breathe out* *Breathe in*. There was silence again, that cruel deafening silence.
A nostalgic expression with a hint of sadness and anger left my breath. Let me bring to you the movie - Exodus : Gods and Kings. This particular paragraph is a scene in the movie. It is so heart-breaking, so cruel. Well, I felt so. God! God! What is God made up of? Or what is God? Or who is God? No one has really ever seen him. He has always been that mysterious. Oh, come on theist, have you ever had the pleasure of meeting him or seeing him or umm never mind! Well, I do believe in your belief. But we have to agree that he is mysterious enough. Well, in this movie he makes an appearance to a person who never believed in God. That's the logic there. If you never really believed in God, he will chose you and you have a great destiny to fulfill, the God's destiny of course, for salvation perhaps. What fascinated me in the movie was the God and his actions. In the early mid 1000 BC, there was slavery, a sort of slavery which was unbearable to even imagine. We all know that, don't we? History did make that clear or was it the Bible? And there are many stories of God in that time period, his birth, his purpose, and so many other things.
So, as part of the greater good, what was the necessary evil? What was needed for the good to come out from so much evil. Life! Life was at stake. And this movie had put a big question mark on the God's intentions. Kill a few to help a lot? That was the motto. There was this phase in the movie when the God brings down his wrath. He kills all the fish, destroys the crops, followed by an attach by flies, frogs, worms, whatnot. There was a plague out of no where, and a deadly one. I wonder what happened to the balance of nature? And what shook me to the core was when he decides to kill all the children. While the children who are in the houses which are marked with the blood of the sacrificed lamb won't be killed. Death. If death was so inevitable, kill the few people who are the cause for that very evil. Why are the innocent lives at risk here? What kind of sick mind is this?
But come on, God is GOD, the mighty, the powerful, the graceful, the peacemaker. He has a purpose and he was just doing what he thought was necessary for the greater good. We are just supposed to believe that, blindly, or with logic if there is any or if anyone cares. Well, after all he is the God and he is right! Praise the Lord. So, we have come to a conclusion that God is the supreme and the creator and the protector and the everything invincible. But he had to start somewhere. How did he come up with the idea of this universe, this planet, the people in it and the everything around you and me, I mean us. So, I have this theory, a rough one though, but believe me I am getting it patented, just in case. I could be right after all.
The theory behind the mystery of how God created the universe. (This is awfully long title for a theory). Well umm, yeah got it. This sounds better :
The Snow Globe Theory
Statement : According to this theory, God created the universe.
The Explanation :
There was darkness, everywhere. Like an infinite black room with nothing in it. But it was not how it was. It was how God felt when he looked around him. There was infinite emptiness. Just as then the god realized that he had powers (the gender is still inconclusive as I never had the chance to be in his presence, but let's say Male) to do anything, create anything, like anything. To start of with something interesting, he goes to his Drawing room(oh yeah, he has one, a big very big one) and to get rid of that empty hollow darkness, he plans to create light.
Astrology 101. He starts of with a tiny white dot. But it wasn't enough to illuminate his drawing room, so after a million trials and errors he manages to create a source of light. There you go, sun was created. He then fumbles with different shapes and sizes and after "creating" multiples theories, he settles at the sphere shape. Round spherical and transmits light in all directions equally. Awesome. He pats himself ( Nah, he doesn't! I am just saying. But it could have totally happened).
Chemistry 101. Now the temperature, the gases, the chemical reactions to sustain that light. Whatnot. (Okay, I am going to stop myself there. That's all my knowledge about chemistry. And I feel so tired already. God must have had a lot of stamina and patience. Literally!) So after all that chemistry, the sun was fully self sustained. And mind you, it didn't happen overnight. It took a lot of calculations and assumptions, theories (that you read in Chemistry and Astrology or the origin of sun books, whatever, right?)
Physics 101. Then came big irregular masses which we in modern day call planets. God's drawing room is now filled with calculations, chemical compositions, astronomical signs and all that stuff ( that we are still unaware of). The shape was a challenge again, but again after a thousand trials, sphere it was again. He still had to get them to fill the space around that SUN. He covered the surroundings of the sun with these planets. They were dragged towards the sun and totally consumed by it. The concept of Distance came into existence. And not to mention another involuntary discovery was the concept of motion. Another a million calculations and carefully placing the planets , everything was set in motion. Okay, who has that kind of patience? I am losing my patience trying to explain my theory ( which *cough* sucks *cough*). Well, nevertheless, he pats himself (or not) for his accomplishment.
Biology 101. I wonder what his drawing room would have been, with papers containing the blueprints of the whole universe, what to keep where, with calculations and compositions for each planet, all that physics, chemistry, astrology, whatnot ( we/I sill don't know a million other things about his drawing room). After a few days of appreciating his creation and the revolving planets he felt accomplished. Years passes by and he kept staring at his arrangement. Though he created a million other such things, a sun and planets around it, he felt that he was still missing something. Then another concept hit his mind. Life. He put all his creativity and started with a million different shaped creatures and whatnot. He placed each one certain planets. Nothing seemed to sustain Life. He had to do something. He started off with water, then the vegetation, plants, kept those small creatures. After certain years that planet achieved ecological and environmental balance. But still it didn't look complete. Then he realized to create a creature in his own image. God created Man. His bravest and the most radical creation till date. Then came woman. He wanted to impart his knowledge, but he had to be careful because it could be misused, if not handled properly. The Garden of Eden. But he also couldn't figure out the future what it had.
He(The God) had no idea that some ordinary man (me) could ever unravel that mystery, or should I say the secret of his. How did I do that? With his gift of knowledge, of course. I bet he didn't see this coming. This is a theory-in-progress and a lot of additions and new discoveries will be added to it as we(I) unravel it. Hence, I conclude my Snow-Globe theory!
Ah, I bet you that question why is this theory called the "The Snow-Globe Theory". I have explained almost everything (most of it! Ok, a part of it! Ok ok, no need to get all hyper, a very small part of it), I still haven't told you where he stays, did I ? Aha see, I got you there. So, where does God stay? As far as I know all this infinite universe could be inside a snow globe minus the the snow (of course) in a kid's room given by his father, the God. There you go, the mystery behind the name of the theory. But there is no snow. So what? My theory, my name! And mind you, its' going to be patented. And eventually I will get that signature from God approving it. Believe me, that day is not far. Wait till he sees' that Snow Globe.
And oh yeah, Nobel Prize is also not far away! Just remember my name.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
The eyes never left the wall, they couldn't. The wall where the evening crimson sun rays illuminated the center piece like a limelight in the dark theater. It was an art, a masterpiece. The world around him stopped as the seconds turned into hours. Each moment glorifying a memory, a gift, which seldom felt like freedom, like solace. It was pure bliss.
The masterpiece that hung on the vibrant wall was a monochrome picture engulfed in the colors of black and white. It was odd considering the bright color of the wall, but that framed possession could put any background to shame. It was simple yet unique piece. Everything was odd for a normal eye from the wall to the picture, the frame to the color. Everything. That's what made it more exquisite. No. That wasn't the reason.
It was a sunny afternoon. They had gone for a long drive, striking another item from their To-Do-Before-25. They were passing through the hilly landscape of lush greenery and wheat colored grass . They had to stop and breathe in the serenity. That pleasant air that brushed the golden grass flakes on the hilly side brought the much needed calmness in their tiresome journey . There was something magical and this being their first rodeo, they never wanted to forget this, this memory, this memory of their togetherness, this memory of the beautiful bond they shared, this memory of their happiness. He was an artist, a painter. He would have loved to have his canvas and he could embrace that memory in the crimson colors of serendipity. She was an artist too, a sculptor. She would have loved a piece of clay and rest would be splendid. But instead she showed him a Polaroid camera, one from her rare collections, an antique gifted by her father on her marriage. They both were artists sure, but they were no good with a camera. They both fumbled and finished the whole film that they had at their disposal. They had a wonderful time, having fun and a lot of memories to remember.
He feared the worst for the photos, but he found the one that stood out among them. The one which captured her natural self, her happiness, her shimmering beauty in the sunkissed afternoon, the one which was the product of an innocent accidental snap. Everything about her was perfectly tuned in that accidental capture which spoke about volumes about her. He had to cherish this memory, this mistake, this beautiful mistake which to this day brought back all the memories of them both and the years they spent together. Though he lost her a few years back, but he relived every day with her, staring at her.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Pointing fingers has always been in our blood. You get caught doing something wrong with a friend or not, you start pointing fingers. Well, unless you are the noblest of the people over here and prefer to take the blame for the mistake you did or didn't do. Here we are actually involved in the process and unfortunately we got caught. I remember one time when I didn't do anything wrong and just because I was at the wrong place ( oh no, I was in my place but the person who did it was near my place), we were subjected to a punishment. I wondered why couldn't they reason with my innocence. I was the culprit here. The person who was responsible for this was standing just besides me. Was I angry at him? No, I wasn't. But I sure was angry at the person who pointed their finger at the me and not to mention the Principal who wasn't interested in reason. The teary eyed girl had scored more in this aspect and there was no place for reasoning. Wait, she went into the Principals' office to complaint. I was wondering how childish of her. Of course, we were in seventh standard. How more grown up could she be?
But this phenomenon of pointing fingers has never ceased to end. Even after being a grown up and people are still vague in their ideologies and still blame others'. Fast forward ten years and here I am sitting listening to people who are blaming, blaming everyone. But I don't understand why! It usually happens in our evening break time when we come out of our cocoon of wired electronic devices and tapping keys to freshen up a bit with the tinge of fresh air or whats left of it either by sipping a cup of coffee (specifically me) while others prefer a green tea ( you know with all the hygiene drama and all) with a essential snack of the evening to keep company. I am usually drowned in my phone sliding the ticker which provides the updates on the technology or likewise. And then out of the blue these guys stop for a moment. I look up and find then staring at a girl in saree. Obviously, she looks ravishing. Obviously, right? But thats' not the point. It is the comments that follow.
The stereotyping of people based on the locality(the place they grew in/ stay in), their attitude and especially the gender would be a tab difficult thing to comprehend. We all have heard those things. The city girls, the village girls, the dress code, the revealing, the women, the ladies and the girls. I thought that being educated and having the intellect to comprehend what is right and wrong, we are still at the place where are are still immature. So, the women. They are to blame. Of course they are, aren't they? They have taken a step from being that house restricted women to independent women who are excelling at more things we could imagine. So, this independence of theirs is bothering a lot, is it not? Or is it the progress that they are making, surpassing you? They are having more friends, so lets just pass comments on her because majority of the people in her group happens to be boys. Lets judge her character. Oh, she is wearing what she likes which doesn't seem to fall under your the category of "proper dress code for women", so lets' say she is provoking you and she is asking for it. She is independent and does what she loves doing and yeah she happens to be a city girl. Of course with that attitude and that city-culture-she-was-exposed-to, you couldn't possible marry her, can you? Whilst you have this ego problem that she might be the one making the decisions for you. I could bring upon a million other things, but is that really it? Have we come to this? This game of pointing fingers.
I can't even quote what my colleague has said. I wanted to. But I don't want to get that image in my mind again. It is one of those rare(now becoming more common) moments when you feel like standing up and give them a nice trashing. But then again, we can't stop there, there are hundreds of others who deserve the same until they come to their right sense. And then I return back to this cubicle of mine only to find a "guy" almost shouting at the top of his voice emphasizing on the dominance of man over women referring to all the differences, weaknesses and whatnot. Don't they get tired of pointing fingers and accept women for what they are. Yeah, I agree that with a society like ours, it might take a long time, but give them a break will you!
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Everybody loves their hair, unless they happen to do-not have any of it. That is when the giving-advice starts. They seem to feel that they know everything about hair, how it falls and the steps to regrow it. The only problem being that they are still bald. I am not bald yet. But I have taken the first class ticket to it. So, I am going to land in the city of football and cricket grounds pretty soon ( I mean that bald spot on the head looks like those grounds I mentioned). So anyway, there is an odd phenomenon going around with it. Like everybody else I have a good hair day and a bad hair day, of course right? The only difference is that I have more of bad hair days while the good hair days can be summed into good hair moments. I wake up on a Saturday morning and as I look at myself while brushing my teeth, I stop for a moment. Holy shit, my hair looks awesome. Caution. Caution. Don't tilt your head. Don't move, not a muscle. Actually, Saturday is the lets-wash-that-muddy-hair-day, which now is put off indefinitely. I walk as if I am holding a sensitive bomb which would go off anytime if I moved even one muscle. Saturday goes by just fine with the bomb going off a little too many times. But still, it is ok-ok. Sunday comes up and hair is still intact because I didn't sleep the other night because that would involve, well sleeping and ruining the hair. But still, the bomb goes off a little too many times, as the day turns into night. I hold that sensitive bomb and go to check how it is holding up. To my surprise, I don't recognize that person in the mirror. Who the hell is that guy? I thought that it was just my hair which was messed up, this guy is even worse.
You know the feeling when sometimes someone(just one accidentally) looks at you and you feel like everyone is watching you, your every move, your dress, your hair, your fashion sense, your umm... the complete you? No. Really? No, not one. Every person in the visible range. Oh, my bad. Of course, you must be either very prettily beautiful (for girls) or insanely handsome(for guys). So you do know that feeling except not everybody. I know the feeling too even though no one looks. That's is my sort of super power, you see. So, I just have to be cool to impress them, right? I walk cool, I flick my hair "stylishly", and I know for fact the girls would be crazy about me that very moment. So, just to make sure I glance at them from the corner of my eye. *cough*Where the hell is everybody?*cough*. Oh damn, all my coolness is down the drain. Damn! How could they do this to me?
Why does the universe have to mock me? Earlier when that I used to get a Cappuccino with a heart shaped on it, it did give me a hope of some sort for love to happen. (No, not exactly. I am kidding.) Now that has changed to a Cappuccino with a tomato shaped on it. I agree that they wanted to give me a heart shaped one, but that didn't turn out as they had hoped it to. It has been happening for the past 10 times. I had to stop taking pictures of it because umm, it is *cough* embarrassing *cough*.
I just saw a guy at the coffee shop with a laptop, who was using his laptop to listen to songs from his Macbook Air. I guess he couldn't hear that earth shattering music that is already playing in the shop that could literally break the glass. A visibly hot girl walks into the shop. I go..Ooooh. *cough* She goes and sits beside him and gets "handsy" and the family with a kid (10 years, I think) who are just across them leave moments later.
I just listened to one song the whole day. Present count = 83 ( and counting) ! No, it is not because I love the song, it was more because I wasn't listening to it. I had my thoughts somewhere else, I guess. I just looked at my phone and realized that this some was on repeat and I had no idea. Where did my mind go? Exactly. Since I had listened to this song like a hundred times, I should be able to sing this by now. And so I thought too. Here was my try :
problem .... lose....
...tomorrow.....adsasdas ..... wait...
asdasdlad asd asda a adadaad ad
...moon....sdaddiue adasda spin
dfsdfs .... life.... .ebagsbjsnj ... music..
Oh thank you, don't applause. It was nothing.
P.S. Yeah, you guessed it right. I was just rambling.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
The growing multitudinous of the complexity of life these days has plagiarized the normal perception of things. Aiming for stars is no longer the main objective. Stars! What stars! Particles of dust combined shining light years away. Nevertheless the ability to fly unimaginable heights is still out of question. But heights yeah, thats' possible. Breaking the barriers slowly with each day as the bar is setting higher and higher. Life happened to us. Life! Then came along the biggest fear or the biggest comfort. The Money. Without money it was practically impossible for anything to happen, figuratively speaking. But more importantly something else also did happen. Change! Change has happened drastically. An era migrated with the so called change. It is plain difficult to pinpoint to something and say this is the best change that has ever happened to mankind.
Keeping aside the whole mankind for a moment and taking into perspective the present life that I am beholding, change has been a distant dream. The dream so farther than the stars that it is simply invisible. In a word you would say there was No change at all, if the topic is to be discussed there would be nothing to point out. But that would be an understatement if I had to tell that there was no change at all. After all it wouldn't be humane if there wasn't any. Well, let's just take a step up and increase this change up a notch. Like the organization I work in.
The place where I actually work is considered better than the rest of the 12 branches within the city. Also this is ecologically well maintained, again if compared with the remaining 12. Even though it houses the maximum number of people in their workstation it still has the comfortable looking environment. There is nice vegetation, more than a couple of trees here and there covering the ground blocking the match in its crucial time. The best environment? No, not the best. But better than we could ever expect for this organization. I don't know whether this is done everywhere with a lot of trees and plants but, here they hang this playcard displaying the name and species of the plant/tree. Pretty cool, right. It was actually re-freshening to find the scientific names of the flowers/plants/trees. I am no biology major or junior but it was kinda cool.
The corporate environment is always mysterious to deal with. As mysterious it might be, sometimes there are certain crazy things happening. Like when they decide to root up the whole footpath and increase it by one inch. Why, you ask? Was it because the footpath was getting drowned in rains? No, not even close. That is the corporate gimmick which comes under the name of development to save Tax. Well, if this was one greatness you thought? No it wasn't. I literally had no idea to what to tell or how to respond when I saw rabbits caged up and people were snapping photos. Were they cute? Hell yeah, they were. Caging the so called "people" under this spectrum of shitty work wasn't enough. Ironic, right? They would occasionally leave these rabbits in the so called well maintained garden for some time. The worst part is that after they have "successfully" enjoyed their momentary freedom in the "vast garden", they are taken back to their cages which are literally in the open and just covered with a plastic sheet to protect them from rain. This was horrible enough. The worst part was when I saw them out in the garden and they could just run out of the garden and go out to freedom, but they couldn't. They ran back, back to the cage at the sight of any human. If this was brilliance at extraordinary levels, you are wrong again. A week later there was another cage. This time there were these cute small birds, parrots caged. Now, for this the worst part is that they don't have the little freedom of that those rabbits were able to live with momentarily twice a day. I was standing and looking at these cute creatures. If they could talk, if I could understand what they were continuously chirping about, they might be cursing in the worst possible birdlike curses that if translated to a language we could understand we might as well kill ourselves. If only. But aren't they singing, in their usual way, which compels us to take selfies with them and adore the cuteness. Only if they know how to sing.
Dear Stupid Educated People with Smart phones,
Stop clicking the pictures of these caged creatures for god's sake. Even though they haven't done harm to anyone, they have lost their freedom. At least leave them alone. We are caged too, but we don't know the bounds. Once we realize that, we would suffocate in our own misery, literally. You are not helping anyone with the photos you are clicking. And I wonder sometimes what would happen if you were kept in the same cage and someone, some giraffe or a hippo is taking a selfie. Just awesome selfie that would be. It would #BreakTheInternet which Kim Kardashian failed to do with one botoxed butt.
What is the next plan?
There are claims that there will be a zoo opening shortly. Already there are three animals, one being in exponential majority called humans and the other two are the aforementioned. To complete the so called Corporate zoo, there have been talks to bring all the national park wildlife to one place. After all, ecological balance is what we have always dreamed of. Why not bring the harmony to the work environment? Why not?
I showed this post to a colleague at office. And the response was equally brilliant. I was like speechless for a moment and then thought that this should definitely go into my blog. She and her friends wanted to place a board with a quoted text on the cage which had the birds in it. So, this was the quote :
"Walking is too boring when you know how to fly".If this doesn't break your heart, I don't know what will!
Thursday, November 6, 2014
"How would you know that? You don't have a girlfriend!". The social stigma of a definite need of a girlfriend or to be in a relationship is swelling the young minds. Is it really a necessity? Is it what we really want in the prospect of life? How important is being in a relationship to any of us? When the people around us are biting away their time with the so called significant others and we are there watching and feeling the need to be a part of that, of that experience. But I don't believe in following the crowd like every Tom, Dick and Harry. When it happens, it will happen, right? By it, I mean love. Love is what we seek right? Or is it just a temporary lapse of enjoyment or heartbreak. We don't have to follow a pretty girl, or a bunch of them just for that to happen. It won't happen that way. And it won't last long. But if you are in for the heck of it, then what is the point? Oh that temporary lapse of fun which leads to heartbreak. Why do things which we are not capable of handling. Or to begin with, why do things just because you that guy across you is doing?
The earlier mentioned dialogue is the close deduction of a funny conversation. I was taken aback when I got the reply mentioned earlier for a lame response in casual conversation. This was mockery at unprecedented level. So, what was the reason for her to mock me with such "absurdity" or should I call a "clichéd notion" ? Now this is where I laughed at the mockery. I am usually the person who would start the conversation with a common ice breaker "Hi". What? It isn't a ice breaker! Dude, stop! So, I usually reply with "Hi, How are you?" even though when the last conversation was just a few hours apart and I already know about the well being of the person in conversation. So, I was asked why I was asking for the well being when nothing possibly could happen in a couple of hours gap. I named it etiquette, correct me if I am wrong. And said that this is how I usually start talking. After a couple of days, this happens :
This is not fare (fair). ladki ko kabhi hai nahi bolna chahiye. [This is not fair. You shouldn't say 'Hai' to a girl]
Why? (I was perplexed, literally and was waiting for my share of laugh).
Respect you know.
Is that so?
Ha. [ Yes ]
Then what should I say ?
"How can I help you mam?"
(By this time, I was speechless for a moment and started mocking her in my usual way.)
Wow, you are an absolute genius. How did I miss that?
Hmm, aap ko ye sab nahi ata tabhi toh aap single ho. [Hmm, You don't know these things, that's why you are single ].
(That comment didn't bother me. But I wasn't going to let it go. I consider myself as a giving-back person, even if it mockery.)
Nice logic. I appreciate it.
(Unable to control my laughter, I had to say something back) Yeah right! But I am not a salesguy(in a shop) to be of anyone's assistance to anyone, Mam. And also tell me, how could this be a reply for a simple Hai?
*Insert some angry smileys*
(I couldn't care less).
Despite all this, I have seen people in desperate need to be in a relationship. I still haven't figured out the main reason about this so called trend that people are seem to be following these days. The hardest to accept from all of these is that it is not the so-called-love is not the front runner for all this. Just that your friend is in a relationship, you should also be in a relationship as if you would be socially wrong and in the wrong society if you are still single. The obvious question that we, by we I mean single people are bombarded is the question of the relationship status and the response turns out to be frown most the times, unless they happen to be in the same boat as us.. Love is an understatement these days. When one of my friend who recently changed the status from Single to In a relationship tries to hook me up with his girlfriends' friend whom I haven't even met or know, that puts me in a much deeper question. I mean with a few talks/wooing/ flirting/not-to-forget-the-lies her status might also change but isn't this a sort of forced relationship happening mainly because one has been single and the need to be in a relationship is quite evident all over his friends. But to state the obvious, I would bailing on the first meeting if that were to happen somehow. I can't even begin to describe the temptation of the people all around the would being infatuated by a good looking person. The worst is when people have found love on ten different occasions. And I was sitting in at this coffee shop staring at the love shaped foam in my coffee cup and assuring myself that it happens only once and it will be a special feeling. So, hosla rakho. Just keep faith.
Friday, October 31, 2014
The dilemma of the depth of the question killed him. He had known what he had wanted all along and what he wished for most people weren't a big fan of. Most, in this pretext meant nearly 99% of the people. What was this that made this wish so profound? Why was he in such a dilemma! The questions haunted his own alter ego.
But amid all, what did he want? To be free. To be able to breathe freely without a conscious haunting in every step of the way. To be able to do whatever he wanted to do. To fly among the soft clouds that floated in the sky of a summer evening. He was second in a family of three children. But he has always been the eldest. How? A tragedy! A tragedy in which his brother left this so called beautiful world after enjoying the life in this world for a couple of days. Just a couple of days. How more terrible can God be? If he was born before his brother, he would have been devastated. But he was lucky? He was fortunate enough to escape that hardship.
All this while as he grew up, he was totally unaware of a heavenly soul and was the eldest in the family. He never had a thought, never had a mention, never knew that he was second. He never had to think deep even after he came to know, he wasn't at a liberty to feel remorse. But every one in a while he would imagine what if that kid was still around, what the world around him would be like. Above all, all he thought was that it would have been pleasant.
Why? Why he wanted his brother to be alive? But first of all, he wondered whether the almighty God was fair? Eventually as time passed by, he started realizing his anger towards God for being so unfair to a kid who was still young, who didn't even put his legs on this world. He was as much angry as the circumstances that led to now. The loss of life at any point of time could scar anyone for life. Life is precious, and God understands this more than anyone. But, if only he did! He asked, rather shouted at God, cursed him, demeaned him and after failing to see any results started losing faith in him. No matter how much faith he lost, even when there was no faith left to lose, he still remembered him every once in a while, either it was to curse him or beg him. He concluded God to be a mean person with no conscious, no remorse. How could anyone tell otherwise!
Now revisiting again, Why he wanted his brother to be alive? Why he hated God so much? Why, because that night God took away the wrong person. He wishes that if that day had been any different, the world, his world would have been a different place. A peaceful place where he always wishes to be. A place where there is no sorrow. A place where there is no pain. A place where there is no hatred, no nothing. A place where he never existed, where he never existed!