Wednesday, June 15, 2016

I bet you would.

This made me laugh, for obvious reasons of course. It is a straight forward question and so is the answer. Having said that, now you would be thinking what would you do, am I right? Now that we all are wondering what it would be like, let me point out this is a weekly prompt by #blogChatter and the purpose is to write a blog post on it. If I was any other person I pretend to be normally, I would just say "Yes" with a lot of attitude, of course, because attitude is 'rad' these days. Though I am not entirely sure what this rad means, no seriously what does it mean?

Took me for a socially challenged, didn't you. Cool and Radical, it means. Rad is so fab, ain't it? Anyhow. "Would you like you, if you met you?". I bet everyone would have thought about this at one point of time. If not, now is the time. How do you think the conversation would go? What would you like to talk about? What would you do? Would you be amazed? Would you be awestruck? Would you pick up your phone and speak even when it doesn't ring and get out of there? Or would you embark that day as the day of most awesome conversations? The questions just keep piling up, don't they?

I do that everyday, I mean talk, for your information. I talk to myself, I have never actually felt the need for another person. Because I can't talk. No, I can talk, but I can't talk, to people, to new people. So, the next logical question would be "Since you know yourself, you would obviously talk to yourself, I mean the other you in different clothes, obviously, otherwise it would be very really awkward, like twins, grown up twins walking around in same pair of dress. Give me a minute to erase that image out of my head. I accidentally used the permanent marker while picturing it. It is not rubbing off easily. Damn. So, would I? Would I like myself? Hell no. I don't need a fourth dimension character self of me to figure that out. I have a mirror, not the best in class but it sure as hell does work. And everyday's job is to get a new mirror hoping that someday it will show myself a little better, you know with square jaws, a little subtle, broad shoulders, blue eyes, ripped body, six packs duh! and an awesome hair duo.

So, you are saying that when you say "Would you like you, if you met you" with so many yous, you mean to say that whether you would like your character, whether you would like your inner self, the attitude, the real you. I think I got the question quite loud and clear. Knowing me, why would I ever want to meet me let alone like another me.

ακ, xᴠᴠɪᴍᴍxᴠɪ

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

P a u s e.

"Why haven't you written anything?" #askingForAFriend*

"Why haven't you written anything?", asked a friend. The reason is quite simple. I mean I am quite good at blaming, I always have been. So, this was not a difficult task. The culprit was "Writer's Block". You know they say there is no such thing as a Block or Writers' Block. It's just what people say. To justify that claim, I am no writer. So, telling everyone that I am on the crucial setback and am going to pounce back anytime now is just preposterous. How preposterous? Like those few people, who happened to be versatile bloggers writing almost every day and praising you that you are a good writer, but they haven't even visited your blog, yet keep on saying that they know how good of a writer you are and you listen to that, flattered, flustered and with a new found ambition to write more, only to realize that you deleted your blog a long time ago. Preposterous. You want a better example? I am sorry, that's all I have, I guess.

I have another friend, a girl. Now, for an introvert talking to a girl is kind of difficult. You wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain, you extrovert playboy philanthropist and some other cute six-packed words. So, for a conversation to break, one needs a common ground. Of course, you need to communicate in terms you understand or at least you pretend to understand. If a person was into rocket science, I could probably pretend, but when two neutrons hit each other, I am not sure what exactly happens. Nuclear reaction. Destruction. Yes, that is what I was searching for. Having said that it's a real shame that I can't even crack science being a science student. What if I told you I just did it to get out of school? Anyhow, I found the common ground. Blogging. Here, I could be a pretend artist, a freaking Picasso, I mean William Shakespeare. Damn, I should do my research in writing. 7 years into blogging and it looks like high school all over again, stuck in the same class. So, I get acquainted and become online friends, with no benefits. I know right, its' such a big bummer. Eventually, I would get a text at 3 AM asking for a push, since she is stuck at writing something. I look at myself, I have to go to another room since the mirror is there. I look at myself for a whole damn minute thinking when was the last time I wrote, do I even have a blog anymore and I realize never keep a lady waiting even though she never reads even one, I respond giving that motivating speech like the coach gives in the movies to the team in the final round. It's mostly gibberish but it has a great background score, the really motivating, hair raising one. I am not sure whether I have helped or not, I get cut off. I do try to followback by sending a few more messages. But damn, this friends with no benefits is such a drag, I tell you. And there's goes away my motivation. 

I have another blog. I have been fairly irregular. I have had it for a year, now. I don't have a reader base there, but I know a few people, like I do here. After reading a post, my intention is to leave a comment. Because writers and bloggers love comments. Its what keeps them motivated. If you don't know, try it. Leave a comment and see a positive impact on the person writing. That doesn't mean you have to leave a harsh and rude comment, but your opinion, positive or negative, just leave one. But I am amazed at the people leaving comments, mostly guys on girl's blog, which is nothing short of flirting. I haven't flirted or seen anyone in real, but I can just feel that itch in the throat, like that vomiting sensation, you know. Why? Because I have had my eye for quite some time and someone is applying a Tatkal. So, unfair. I even forget those lovely words I wanted to say to impress them. I just close the tab because that itch turned into a cough and I needed water.

I haven't written a single post in May of 2016. Do you know what the Blog stats say about my alleged visitors? As of today, 15000. That's like thrice of what I used to get when I wrote for the whole freaking month. I see that there is something terrible wrong with my blog. I have been trying to delete, move, customize and host it. But as the president of "The Procrastinators Elite", I just couldn't get work done, I had to postpone, like I am now. And that adds to the demotivating factor, finally making me unfit for writing.

"Why haven't you written anything?", asked a friend, not once, not twice, but thrice. This post is dedicated to him. Because despite being a shitty writer, he is checking my blog, whenever possible for a new post. I wish I had more friends like him. The Bloggers elite group could learn a thing or two from him, keeping aside your ego and whatnot. 


Saturday, April 30, 2016

Annihilation. #Z2AChallenge

Have you seen the eyes that linger in the shadows of the day, even when there are no shadows.

Have you seen the pain that is concealed behind the lips that smile, or perhaps try to smile their way.

Have you seen the agony when in the cries out yet too silent to notice!

Have you seen the dilemma in the lost eyes, however present.

Have you seen the fear where there is nothing to be afraid of.

Have you seen the scared soul afraid of living.

Have you seen the blind never taking risks.

Have you seen the hatred they have for themselves.

Have you seen the loss of faith in the lost opportunities. 

I have. I am.

because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day25 #Annihilation #HaveYou #Questions #Life #Me
#AlphabetA #TheLetterA #A

Friday, April 29, 2016

Bubble. #Z2AChallenge

The instability of thoughts evade the consciousness of reality. What is what? What!? Exactly! The very defying entity is questioned and there is no definitive answer to it. Question. Answer. Questions. What? When? Where? How? Who? The questions become the paradigm of the conscious mind plaguing the very stability of life, of nature, of thoughts, of each one. The bubble of our thoughts.

The bubble, this bubble of thoughts, that never bursts. The confusion, the instability, the dilemma, the war, the enigma, an emulsion of unsolicited complications. But besides all this atrocities that the mind has to deal with, there is a comfort place of its own. A place where it is safe. A place where everything settles down. A place where the war ends. The place outside the bubble. Because as deadly the war may be, there is a smile that always cleverly deceives creating an illusion of calm. The eyes staring at the eyes, trying to leap into the very fragments of soul, could only see a calm, yet lost. But, if only they know the raging war inside, the endless battle. If Only. 


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day25 #Bubble #Thoughts #War #Battle
#AlphabetB #TheLetterB #B

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Calamity. #Z2AChallenge

Reaching you from the endless dreams. 
A fragment of reality in concealed thoughts.
In the effervescence of life, you
A memory thats growing too fond

The symphony in laughter
Comforting in a warm embrace
Letting go of all the troubles
Drown in a world, surreal

Transcending memories of yesteryear
The voice soothing the temperment
Solace to the soul
Peace to the mind.


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day24 #Calamity #Life #Love 
#AlphabetC #TheLetterC #C

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Damn. #Z2AChallenge

I don't have a lot of conversations online. The other day, my phone buzzed in the middle of the day. I don't get any messages in the middle of the day. But this time, it caught my eye, because the icon that was visible was that of a burning fire with a background, if you are wondering what it is, take a guess. Let me give you a hint : It is the most popular dating app. You got it, didn't you? So, the message from Tinder said " Congratulations! You have a new match". I left my work in between and jumped in my seat. As you might have guessed, this was my first Tinder match, after well Domino's Weekend Damaka offer for Valentines Day. Wait, are you too, like me, excited to know who this mystery match is? Well, it's a mystery after all. I navigate to the matches screen and there was nothing. Empty. Blank space. Umm, not exactly. It said, "Get Swiping : When you match with other users, they'll appear where you can send them a message". But, but I just got a match. I. JUST. GOT. A. MATCH. What happened to it? Why you do this to me, Tinder? Why?

Clearly, even the Tinder is also mocking me. Also, I guess you observed the word. So, who else was mocking me? I, myself. Because for *cough* celebrities *cough* like me, love is a distant dream. Here is a conversation I had with a friend of mine just yesterday, while I was mocking myself. Please note that the following conversation took place on Facebook messenger, and all the actions thus indicated in the asterisks are actually emojis! 

Friend :  Congratulations. Looks like you're finally in love .

Me : I am? *completely confused*

Friend : *sounding disappointed* You're sucha liar .

Me : *even more confused and trying to figure out what gave that impression* I have no idea...

Friend : * sounding a bit angry * oh plz shut up okay

Me : * couldn't keep up with the suspense * Why do you think so?
At least tell me that.

Friend This is why :

Me : That's John Cena.

Friend : *as if I didn't know look* don't start now.

Me "You can't see me" is his tag line.

Friend :  Yes but the smiley that you attached to the post. How will you explain that?

Me : *grinning* Just have a lot of crushes

Friend : *grinning* Idiot.

Me : That's all I can do. * pretending to be sad, or actually being sad*

Friend : *kinda angry* I'll give you a kick. Someday, your parents will get you on an arranged marriage. Then, you will understand.

Me : Help a friend out, please.

Friend : *squinting* Now, asking for help! Shameless. Fight your own battles.

Me : *emotional blackmail* A friend can only help a friend out, right? 

Friend : Ok.

Me : So? 

Friend : ... [ Seen at 5 : 23 PM  ].

I am still waiting for that reply, I mean help though. Well, you can help me out, meanwhile. You are a good friend to me. And you always want to help your friends, especially good friends like me. Thank you, in advance.


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day23 #Damn #Disappointing #Life #Love 
#AlphabetD #TheLetterD #d

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Emptiness. #Z2AChallenge

"What are you thinking about?", asked my dad when I was sitting in the balcony on one winter night after dinner. It was cold, the wind slowly making its way into the warm embrace of home. "Nothing", I replied, like it was the only feasible answer to the question vibrating in the soft breeze. But what was I thinking about? Really nothing. It is hard to explain the empty thoughts. They don't have a beginning or an end. They are just pointless, random, hazy thoughts dancing around the vastness of the limbo.

"What are you thinking about?", the very question offsets the balance of the randomness and lets it trip over. Imagine it like this : The random thoughts are tandem walking on a thin wire from one point to the another suspended in the limbo. When the foreign entity such as a question comes barging in without a knock, each thought trips and falls into the darkness. Now, its just empty space and you see the questioning eyes staring at you for an answer, and you have it. "Nothing". Easier right? 

But I would be lying if I really said Nothing. Did I convince you with the explanation, I just made? I was pretty convincing right? Now, let's rephrase and get to the bottom of the truth. "What are you thinking about?", the question that has been a constant ring in my ears for a very long time, until I moved out of home for college. But still, it was always there during holidays. Because curiosity. A curious mind always asks questions and now it's about finding what is actually going on inside the head. But as life happens the thoughts change accordingly and not everything can be answered the way they appear. So, no, it wasn't nothing that I was thinking about. I was thinking about the miserable life that it is and why it is getting difficult to even breathe properly. And sometimes, it just feels easier to put is all behind and just end it all. Wouldn't that be easy? At that precise moment, the question makes its way. The thoughts are still there, fresh like the cake out of the oven, but it's not that easy to explain the magnitude at which the thoughts were vibrating and the intensity of truth they hold. Its' not easy. But what's easy is saying "Nothing". I wasn't thinking anything. I was staring at the emptiness, the emptiness of life.


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day22 #Emptiness #Life
#AlphabetE #TheLetterE #E

Monday, April 25, 2016

Freedom. #Z2AChallenge

Tell me little bird, what's wrong? You have been caged for so long and it is time for you to be free, fly and explore. I heard you sing the songs , the songs beyond the confinements of this cage, the dreams beyond the horizon, the stories that you have heard and told, about the world, about the adventures you plan to have. Fascination drew as how could you know about the world so much, though you have seen nothing. Now, its time. Its time for you to find a place in this world, the place where you can live the dreams , sing the songs, tell the stories you have heard and shared and the adventures you have had along the time, You could design your destiny, a life of your dreams.

As excited as the bird was to explore, to fly away into the sunset, it took a step back. A small hesitation, a little fear, that however freedom was what it wanted, it was scared of being free, of being on its own. Scared that it had to fight it's own battles. Scared that it had to do it's best to survive the big wild world. Scared that the comfort it had even behind the caged irons, it would finally end. 

That didn't stop the bird from taking another step back in the cage. It realized that it was what life is all about, it was what everyone had been talking, whispering and shouting about. It was what everyone was writing stories about. It took a step forward while assuring itself that one day everyone will talk about it's story, how  the scared little bird flew away into the horizon to etch a story, a life of its' own. 


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day21 #Freedom #Bird
#AlphabetF #TheLetterF #F

Friday, April 22, 2016

Happiness. #Z2AChallenge

Let me ask you something, do you believe in balance? Do you believe that everything that is around us is in balance, of entities that we don't even know of. Do you believe that the nature does the noble deed at balancing everything? As a matter of fact, do you have a balanced life? Because, if you don't believe in balance, going further won't be such a good idea.

I once had a conversation with a short period friend where we discussed abou...what? Why are you looking so confused? Are you wondering what the short-period-friend is? I got acquainted with a person who blogs and started conversing over emails. This was going fine until my friend decided to take some time off, for reasons completely unknown to me. I was being anonymous which was one of the concern. I did feel bad and since there would be no more exchange of emails, I decided to spin the magic 8 ball and reveal what card she was talking to. That was the least I could do, considering I knew my friend's name, work and all the essentials. I didn't expect what came next. My friend was angry at the revelation. That was when the last email was exchanged. So, anger. Feeling. Yes, I am going to talk about two most prominent sides of the coin. 

"Everything in this world is balanced", my friend said. I believed it too. I usually, end up disagreeing, always. But this wasn't one of those cases. The topic we were discussing was happiness. Now, I said I usually disagree to things, even when I know I am on the wrong side. The reason for agreeing this time was the mention of the balance of happiness and sadness. These two are opposite ends of the pole. And that's what attracts them the most. If you have a happy day, you will have a sad day too. "What? This sounds preposterous! I don't agree to it", I hear someone shouting. "I can be happy all my life. I am happy now. I was happy yesterday, I will be tomorrow as well". Yes, you were, are and will be, may be. But I believe you are here because you believe in balance. 

I believed it. No, actually I lived it. So, I believe it. If you are happy for one day, you will be sad for one day. But you wouldn't want to remember that sad day, or as a matter of fact any sad day. If you smiled for a day, you would cry for a day. Am I sounding childish? Think whatever you want. But if you don't believe in the balance, at this point, you just lied to yourself. Anyhow, you are enjoying the happy days and collecting memories while you are at it, because like I said, we don't want to remember the sad days. But what happens when you have the sadder days more than the usual as the happier days become gradually scarce? You become conscious of the fact that you are sad, were sad, and the future becomes an uncertain possibility. I am the product of that deranged conclusion. At one point, I completely forgot all the happy days. And at another point, I got scared of laughing, smiling and enjoying. Because well, the balance is a crass manipulation of unsettling emotions, and I stepped on the wrong stone, every single time.

So, excuse me when I see everywhere #100HappyDays. But after that?


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day19 #Happiness 
#AlphabetH #TheLetterH #H

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Infinity. #Z2AChallenge

The profoundness of the thoughts evade the gloomy atmosphere that surrounded the ambiguity of a well arranged ideas in the scrambled mind. I stumble upon a lot of things at same time as I see myself floating from one perpetual idea to another. I am just wandering in the whole wide world with the destination of an unknown place. The problem with my wandering is that I don't know where I am going. But I reassure myself that I got the required thoughts to keep me sane. I am kidding myself and I don't even know for the better of me.

I dwell in the innocence yet brilliantly categorized human ideologies that revolve in the epicenter of each ones' lives that are interconnected with the human element of the search for the mystery that shadows the gloomy tomorrow. What do we want in this world? What are we doing, so many galaxies away from the unknown? The mystery is what makes it more interesting, they say. Why are we even here? The questions that haunt us like every single day which are overpowered by the daily dosage of our problems with life. 

Life! Life, such a small word yet our perpetual existence involuntarily depends on it and we strive to build beautiful castles from the sands of the shore called time. Aren't we afraid of tomorrow? Are we a little hopeful of the future. The mystery that we live in is what life is all about. If we had every clue of what life was what we have happened to the beautiful castles or the hope? The energy revolves around us like the aureole but only that we could never see it, in darkness or in light. And what importance is a life to a man among all the adversities of the world. Though we may be the small particle among the mountains of desert sand, the possibility of we being the supreme never leaves the human mind.

What are we? What am I? Am I the the reason for something big, or are you? What is the purpose of any of us in this whole wide world. Our whole story revolves around this mysterious things. We have tried to decipher it, sure. But what is it? We could never know. The universe is wide. There are infinite possibilities. "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities" as an author quotes. I believe it. I hope we all agree to that. 


because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Day18 #Infinity #AlphabetI #TheLetterI #I

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |